A Year Already!

A year ago today, I received the dreaded phone call that rocked my world. I remember the moment like it was yesterday...yet it also feels like it was a lifetime ago. It was an early Friday evening and Mike and Nick weren't home yet.

I had seen the ultrasound image prior to my biopsy, and what I saw did NOT look normal, so I wasn't exactly expecting good news. But when the doctor called, it was still shocking to hear the words: "Unfortunately, it's not good news. You have breast cancer."

I asked the doctor what kind of breast cancer it was, and she told me it was infiltrating ductal carcinoma (IDC). That sounded pretty bad to me. However, I did feel some relief when she told me that it was the most common type of breast cancer. I thought to myself, "well, at least it wasn't some rare type that doctors/researchers didn't know much about."

She also told me that the cancer was grade 1 and to just keep on focusing on that bit of good news. Grading (not to be confused with staging) refers to how the cancer cells look under the microscope compared with normal breast cells. Grade 1 or low-grade cancer cells look the most similar to normal cells and grow very slowly. As it turns out, I ended up having a Grade 2 cancer with cells that look more abnormal and that are slightly faster growing. But at the time, it was comforting to have something positive to focus on.

What I remember most vividly from that evening is hanging up the phone and saying out loud to my empty house: "Holy f---! I have breast cancer!"

And here I am a year later ... feeling great and so grateful for all of the blessings in my life, especially Mike and Nicholas. I absolutely could not have gotten through the past year without them.

We celebrated Nicholas' 5th birthday in February and registered him for Kindergarten. We also received the wonderful news on his birthday that he got into the full-day program.  Crazy to think my little guy will start going to elementary school this September. Yikes!

I just finished the third week of my long-term substitute assignment in a 3rd grade classroom at Issaquah Valley Elementary. I am having an absolute ball being back teaching again and being back at IVE. It is such a wonderful school with an amazing staff and fabulous students.

I also recently attended the C4YW (Conference for Young Women) in Bellevue. What an incredible experience!!  This awesome event was put on by the national chapter of the Young Survival Coalition and attended by hundreds of young breast cancer survivors, diagnosed under the age of 45. It was so nice getting to know so many amazing women from throughout the country and beyond. I also learned tons from the various workshops on everything from breast reconstruction to de-cluttering your mind, etc. to dealing with the fear of recurrence.

One of the conference highlights was dancing the night away with this phenomenal group of women. I can't even explain how fabulous it felt to just let loose and have fun. One memory I know I won't ever forget from that night was dancing to Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive." What an empowering moment, singing along to those lyrics. It was like we were collectively telling off cancer. And boy did it feel good!

As a refresher, I've included some of the lyrics here.

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
oh as long as i know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive (hey hey)
I am also including a picture of a button I picked up at one of the booths at the conference. :)










And here is a picture of me after my first hair cut and color in a year.

Thank you to all of you for all of your love and support over the past year. I couldn't have done it with you!!

2013, here I come! :)

I think this is the happiest I have ever felt about starting a new year. :)

The year 2012 definitely goes in the books as one of my toughest years ever, both physically and emotionally.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer on March 16th of last year, I had no idea what I was in for.  Honestly, if you had asked me then if I thought I was going to be able to handle all that I ended up having to endure, I would have said, "No way!"

Yes..I definitely went through some low points: being admitted to the hospital due to dangerously low white blood cell counts; excruciatingly painful mouth sores that seemed to last forever; and an unbelievably painful skin reaction to radiation.

But to my surprise - after a double mastectomy/oopherectomy (which, of course, put me into menapause), five months of chemotherapy, and 33 radiation treatments, and the above-mentioned low points - I can proudly announce that I survived. And I feel stronger for it.

Now, I am ready to take 2013 by storm. My skin is pretty much completely healed since my final radiation treatment on 12/21, and my energy level is improving all of the time. I have joined a gym and am so looking forward to getting back into a regular exercise routine. I am especially excited to start doing yoga again. I am also working on eating more natural, whole foods.

Since I am no longer having to drive to Seattle for daily radiation treatments, I am also starting to sign up for substitute teaching jobs left and right. I will be doing a long-term gig (8-10 weeks) in a 3rd grade classroom, starting in February. Yay! I am hopeful that my three years of subbing experience, including four long-term positions, will help me land a permanent position next school year.

On another note, I would love any positive thoughts/prayers sent my way as I undergo a CT scan on Tuesday. When I was first diagnosed, the radiologist saw a couple spots, one on my lung and the other on my spleen that they were minimally concerned about. My oncologist let me know early on that we would be doing this follow up CT scan after treatment to make sure that both of those areas are stable. She also assured me that she wasn't concerned, but just wants to make sure we dot all of our "i"s and cross all of our "t"s. Regardless, I am anxious to get the test done and have the results in hand.

I also started taking the estrogen-blocking drug this week, which I will continue to take every day for at least five years. And I will most likely get my reconstructive surgery done this summer. I have to say I am definitely looking forward to my new rack, and the cute bra shopping that will go with it :)

That's all for now. Happy New Year! Here's to a healthy 2013, everyone!

Ouch!

Okay...so in my last post I described my radiation treatments as relaxing. Well, unfortunately this is no longer the case.

Let's just say that my armpit is not a happy camper :(. The skin started to breakdown/peel away about a week ago and it has become quite painful. It looks like something you would see on a 3rd degree burn victim. The day-to-day pain is somewhat tolerable.  However, when I get into my treatment position (which involves extending my arms above my head) and holding it, it feels like my armpit is being stabbed with a hot poker.

My three radiation therapists, Dane, Alicia and Jenny are very empathetic and work as quickly as they can to get me in position and treated so that I don't have to be in excruciating pain for too long. Dane practically sprints in and out of the room to save time.

Thankfully, the rest of my skin in the treatment field (chest wall area) seems to be hanging in there. It has really started to itch though. It also looks as red as a fire truck.

I have become quite attached to my treatment team. They always greet me with a smile and make me feel as comfortable as possible. And, most importantly, we share lots of laughs even when I am in lots of pain.

While I will miss them, I can't wait to be done with treatments so that my skin can begin to heal. The time has actually gone by really fast. It's hard to believe that I have already had 25 treatments with only 8 more to go. Yay!

On another note, Young Survival Coalition (YSC) continues to be a tremendous source of support and strength for me. I can't even explain how much comfort it brings me to be involved with this organization. It has been so wonderful meeting and getting to know so many amazing fellow survivors through this group. Such a blessing!

Mike, Nick and I had a great time at YSC's annual Christmas party this past weekend and I got the red carpet treatment at a recent pampering event, where I received not one, not two, but four complimentary spa services. I felt so spoiled!

I also have to thank my fabulous mother-in-law, sisters in law and nieces for recently taking me out for a "done with chemo" celebratory dinner. You are the best!

That's all for now. Wishing you all a very, merry Christmas!

Snug as a bug in a rug:)

I started my radiation treatments last week, and so far so good.

In fact (I know this may sound crazy), but the treatment experience is actually a rather calming one. Yes; you enter a room with a door the size of an elephant with the words "High Radiation Area" on it, which would instinctually make a person want to head for the hills.

But once I get in the room, I'm made to feel quite comfy/cozy...like a child being tucked into bed. A warm blanket is placed over my legs. And once they get me positioned properly on the bed, they place a heavy blanket called a brass bolus (this increases the dose of radiation to the skin) over my chest. I call it "my bling" :).

Once they have me tucked in as "snug as a bug in a rug:)," my three radiation therapists leave the room and I lay still while enjoying the music of Norah Jones or Green Day (I prefer the latter!) and staring at the lit up beach scene - palm trees and all - on the ceiling. Just a couple minutes later, I am sent on my way.

I drive to SCCA every day, except weekends and holiday, to get my treatments. I will be getting 33 treatments in all, with my last one on December 21. While the 1 hour drive (roundtrip) isn't ideal, I have to admit it's nice to have an excuse to be in the city everyday especially around the holidays.

My daily treatments unfortunately haven't allowed me to do any substitute teaching jobs during the last couple weeks...but I am hoping to pick up some half day jobs here and there before winter break.

In other news, my hair is really starting to come in now. Yay! It's been so nice not having to wear a hat all the time. And my eyelashes are making a comeback as well. You can't really see them yet, but there are a bunch of baby ones sprouting up :).

Well...that's all for now. Hoping you are all enjoying your fall and wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday!

Things are looking up:)

My final chemo infusion was three weeks ago today, and I am so happy to report that I am noticing a definite increase in my energy level. When I was in the middle of my chemo treatments, it made me tired just thinking about making dinner, cleaning the house or going to the store. Today, it felt great to have the stamina to run errands,  do some cleaning, bake a cake and make dinner without feeling like I was going to collapse at the end of  the day.

I am also loving being back substitute teaching again. It has been especially nice working again at Issaquah Valley Elementary, the school I was at for the majority of last school year doing a 2nd grade long-term assignment. Everyone there has been so wonderful and supportive since my diagnosis. I have so appreciated being welcomed back with such sweet words, smiles and hugs. It's also been great to see my former students and their parents, who I haven't seen since last April (just before my surgery).

In other news, I had my port removed last week. Woo hoo! Prior to the procedure, I couldn't help but think about what a different place I was at mentally when I had my port put in...I was just two days away from starting chemo.

I was almost giddy this time around. And I have to say that the folks at SCCA do a great job not only making you feel comfortable, but actually making it an enjoyable experience. When they rolled me into the operating room, R&B music was blasting from the speakers and the surgical team members were joking around with me. And then they gave me the IV conscious sedation drug, which I think should be renamed the "happy drug."

After the procedure, they cranked up the tunes again and then sent me off to post-op where I thoroughly enjoyed cheese and crackers and mini chocolate chip cookies. At the time, I felt like I was having the tastiest snack in the world. In fact, when the nurse said she was going to have Mike come back to see me, I said: "Ok. As long as you don't let him have any of my cookies." She brought him his own bag:).

It's looking like radiation will start the first week and November and my doctor has promised that she will do her very best to make sure my treatments are done by Christmas.

I also thought I would include a picture from the Susan G. Komen 3-Day. I am so proud of you for walking 60 miles in three days, Laur, Angela  and Sheri! And I am so glad Nick and I were able to be there to cheer you on.

 

Done with Chemo:)

After five long months of chemotherapy treatments, I am happy to report that I am finally done! I think it's still sinking in that I am actually finished. Thank you to all of you for your incredible support along the way!!

I am looking forward to gaining my energy back in the weeks and months to come. I have to say I am so tired of being tired.

I will definitely be putting my stamina to the test this week as I return to substitute teaching for the first time since just before my surgery in April. I will be teaching 4/5 graders for a half day on Wednesday and 3rd graders for a full day on Friday. I am very excited to be getting back in the classroom, but am definitely nervous about making it through the school day...especially this soon after finishing chemo. But I decided to just go for it and see how I do. Wish me luck!

In a previous post, I mentioned that I had decided to get the lymphnode dissection surgery in lieu of radiation therapy. Well..after some more thought and additional conversations with all of  my doctors and my dad, I have changed my mind. I will be getting radiation therapy after all. The reason: Radiation will significantly reduce the risk of recurrence on my chest wall. I feel good about this final decision and am at peace knowing that I am getting the most aggressive treatment possible. No regrets!

The plan is to start my radiation treatments in early November. I will heading across the lake to receive radiation every weekday for 4-6 weeks. I am hoping to be done before Christmas. Because of radiation's impact on my skin and tissue, I will have to wait about 6 months for reconstructive surgery.

In other news, my hair is starting to come back in, and I hope to be able start going "hatless" within the next few weeks. :) I also went to my first Young Survivor's Coalition support group meeting last week. After just one meeting, I am already hooked. What a blessing to be able to talk candidly with other women about what we are going through. Thank you to my friend, Jen, for encouraging me to go.

That's all for now:)

Cougs for Boobs:)

My sister, Laurie, along with her friends Angela and Sheri, will be walking 60 miles in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day starting tomorrow. They worked so hard (including setting up a fundraising booth at the Kingston ferrry dock) to raise more than $7,000 between the three of them.

They have also trained like crazy to get ready for what I am sure will be an inspiring and life-changing experience for each of them. I am so excited for them and I know they are more than ready to conquer the challenge of walking 20 miles a day for three consecutive days.

Thanks to a very cool phone app, I will be able to track where Laur and team are at throughout each day and I plan on bringing Nick to one of the spectator cheering sections to root them on. BTW...their team name is "Cougs for Boobs" as they are all WAZZU graduates just like me.:)

While Laur is walking tomorrow, I will be getting my 9th infusion of Taxol with only 3 more to go. Yahoo!! I am so ready to be done, but I also have to admit that I've come to enjoy my Fridays at SCCA.

 I even look forward to having my port accessed (yes...with a needle!) and having my blood drawn. About 10 chemos ago, I met Thea (the blood draw nurse of my dreams:) ), and she has been accessing my port every chemo day since. She is an angel who I like to believe was sent to me by my mom herself.

She treats me like a princess! Upon my arrival, Thea reclines my chair, and carefully places a warm blanket on my lap and rolled-up warm blanket behind my neck. She usually brings me something to drink too! And then we just chat away while she gets everything ready prior to the needle poke, which only lasts a second and only hurts a little. And then we chat some more until it's time for me to head upstairs for chemo.

And then there's all of the amazing chemo nurses. My favorite nurse is Barb. She has a special place in my heart because she took care of my mom when she had her stem cell transplant and just before she died. In a strange way, having her as my nurse makes me feel closer to my mom.

So my last chemo day  (Oct. 4) will definitely be a bittersweet one!