I had seen the ultrasound image prior to my biopsy, and what I saw did NOT look normal, so I wasn't exactly expecting good news. But when the doctor called, it was still shocking to hear the words: "Unfortunately, it's not good news. You have breast cancer."
I asked the doctor what kind of breast cancer it was, and she told me it was infiltrating ductal carcinoma (IDC). That sounded pretty bad to me. However, I did feel some relief when she told me that it was the most common type of breast cancer. I thought to myself, "well, at least it wasn't some rare type that doctors/researchers didn't know much about."
She also told me that the cancer was grade 1 and to just keep on focusing on that bit of good news. Grading (not to be confused with staging) refers to how the cancer cells look under the microscope compared with normal breast cells. Grade 1 or low-grade cancer cells look the most similar to normal cells and grow very slowly. As it turns out, I ended up having a Grade 2 cancer with cells that look more abnormal and that are slightly faster growing. But at the time, it was comforting to have something positive to focus on.
What I remember most vividly from that evening is hanging up the phone and saying out loud to my empty house: "Holy f---! I have breast cancer!"
And here I am a year later ... feeling great and so grateful for all of the blessings in my life, especially Mike and Nicholas. I absolutely could not have gotten through the past year without them.
We celebrated Nicholas' 5th birthday in February and registered him for Kindergarten. We also received the wonderful news on his birthday that he got into the full-day program. Crazy to think my little guy will start going to elementary school this September. Yikes!
I just finished the third week of my long-term substitute assignment in a 3rd grade classroom at Issaquah Valley Elementary. I am having an absolute ball being back teaching again and being back at IVE. It is such a wonderful school with an amazing staff and fabulous students.
I also recently attended the C4YW (Conference for Young Women) in Bellevue. What an incredible experience!! This awesome event was put on by the national chapter of the Young Survival Coalition and attended by hundreds of young breast cancer survivors, diagnosed under the age of 45. It was so nice getting to know so many amazing women from throughout the country and beyond. I also learned tons from the various workshops on everything from breast reconstruction to de-cluttering your mind, etc. to dealing with the fear of recurrence.
One of the conference highlights was dancing the night away with this phenomenal group of women. I can't even explain how fabulous it felt to just let loose and have fun. One memory I know I won't ever forget from that night was dancing to Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive." What an empowering moment, singing along to those lyrics. It was like we were collectively telling off cancer. And boy did it feel good!
As a refresher, I've included some of the lyrics here.
Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
oh as long as i know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive (hey hey)
I am also including a picture of a button I picked up at one of the booths at the conference. :)
And here is a picture of me after my first hair cut and color in a year.
Thank you to all of you for all of your love and support over the past year. I couldn't have done it with you!!
